Once upon a time, there was a Happy Little Dough Boy. He loved being in his bakery box. Until one day he was savagely attacked and severely wounded.
A leg was traumatically amputated, he was bleeding jelly filling profusely from axillary wound, and rapidly losing consciousness.
Oh who could help him?
Luckily, a nearby “Active Bystander” had been trained in TECC interventions by Crisis Medicine. The Candyman, confident in his skills, had his IFAK nearby and leapt into action.
Following MARCH, he rapidly placedan extremity tourniquet with a windlass high on his thigh to stem the flow of jelly filing.
Next, he turned his attention to the Wounded Little Dough Boy’s axillary injury. This wound was too high for a tourniquet, he was loosing filing fast, and the the jelly pool rapidly expanding. After locating the point of jelly extrusion, the Candyman used his X-Mello 12 device and placed mini-marshmallows deep into the dough.
Having addressed Massive Filing Loss, the Candyman realized the Critically Injured Little Dough Boy was unresponsive and obstructing his airway.Having no neck, opening the casualty’s airway was difficult so the Candyman performed a cricothyrotomy using a state of the art Pixie-key.
Now that his airway was secured, the Critically Injured Little Dough Boy was still struggling to breathe and did not have adequate rise and fall of his chest. A cocktail toothpick was placed in his anterior chest to deflate his dough and a vented Cheeze-it chest seal was applied.
The Unfortunate Little Dough Boy was in pretty bad shape. He was unresponsive and had no radial pulse, so the Candyman placed a taffy sternal IO and began resuscitation with whole jelly (that’s what leaked out) through licorice tubing. Happily, shelf-stable whole jelly was already Federal Dough Administration (FDA) approved.
We all know cold jelly does not clot, so the Candyman used an HPMK to keep the little dough boy from becoming hypothermic. Using proper baking technique, the Candyman placed the shiny side toward the Doughboy. This was an early generation HPMK that still had the separate warming bonnet. The Wounded Little Dough Boy was transported to Sluy’s Bakery where he has made a full recovery and lived happily ever after. He appreciated the Force Multiplication for Good when everyone gets trained.
This little dough boy was treated by a well-meaning, but untrained bystander, and had zip ties applied to his injuries. All of his jelly filling leaked out.Services will be held next week at Our Lady of the Bakery.
Followup to the Wounded Little Dough Boy: After a lengthy investigation, the jelly-stained perpetrator has been located and will be dealt with accordingly.
Happy Holidays to all, stay safe, and get trained.